Lesson Forty-Two: Spilled Milk

I’m furious at my 4-year-old daughter after she’s spilled an entire glass of milk on the couch. It’s not so much that she didn’t tell me, so the milk has had time to soak in. It’s not even that I’m worried the milk will sour and create a terrific smell.

Though, those are good reasons.

It’s that she’s not acting sorry. She’s trying her hardest to ignore me.

I say, “Tristan, do you understand why what you did is bad? (blank look) We have to rent a steam cleaner, and even then I don’t think it’ll come out. (looking at the television, ignoring me) Milk turns sour.Do you know what that’s going to smell like? (looking at her feet) Are you listening to me? (she’s not listening) Tristan? (huh?) TRISTAN!!!!”

It’s clear to me why I’m so mad. She’s not acknowledging either that she screwed up, or that she’s sorry.

But Tristan is a smart kid. She can sense when I’m close to my boiling point. All of a sudden she gets serious, looking me straight in the eye.

“It was an accident daddy, I’m sorry,” she says.

And then all at once my anger starts to dissipate. “Run and get me some rags and next time be more careful,” I said, just to get the last word. She skips off to get the rags, and then the situation is over. There is a lesson here.

Everyone makes mistakes and more frequently than we like to admit. Errors and lapses occur and customers rightfully get angry. The way to resolve it is as amiably as possible, to listen intently, take responsibility no matter what, offer apologies, and find a way to make it up to that person.

Tristan knows. She’s got a bright future.